Annoyed....

Today, I find myself SUPER annoyed.

I decided that I should do some laundry, so the place where we are staying is fabulous, and we sleep upstairs from the main part of the house. Nice and quiet, lovely room, anyway, and the laundry is all the way downstairs in the basement.

So I make my first trek, down the stairs, to the main level, and down the stairs to the basement. Great! Laundry in, Maria ONE - Stairs ZERO tee hee hee....

Anywho, proceed UP the stairs to the main level of the house, and UP the stairs to the bedroom so that I can take the sheets off the bed, and wash those too. BUT WAIT, I get up there, start tidying and realize, oh look....a pile of laundry that needs doing as well. SO, because I am easily distracted, forget about the sheets, and grab the laundry and go DOWN the stairs and DOWN the next set to the basement, and place the laundry in the basket (doing it right away is a great idea...in theory). As I trek back UP the stairs, my knees begin to object. So a little slower, I make my way. UP the basement stairs to the main floor. PAUSE, make coffee, drink coffee, read part of my book....lol then I decide I need to go finish my bedroom. So, UP the stairs I go, even slower than before, because my knees are screaming at me "DON'T DO IT YOU IDIOT!! Don't go up the stairs, don't you know I HATE stairs??????? GAAAAHHHHH"

Anywho, I made it. Getting the sheets off the bed, walk down the stairs (OH look, this is a breeze no?) allll the way to the basement, and then I switch laundry. Then, it begins again. The oh so dreaded, my knees are on fire, walk up the stairs. MUCH slower, MUCH harder, and MUCH more painfully. GOOD GRIEF!! I have had knee problems for the last, oh say for sure 10 years, but come on!!! This is RIDICULOUS. I get to the top, catch my breath, and decide, I will go for a shower. And what do you think this requires???? GOING UP....ahhhh I think you get the picture! Maria ONE - Stairs....FOUR. POOP.

ANNOYED MUCH? I was...whatever gave you that idea! LOL
I started to really ponder this...at one point in my life, I lost some weight, and my knees didn't hurt at all. I ate NO bad carbs, and I felt great!! It took one stupid "accidental" bottle of pop, to ruin me, and I gained it all back, PLUS another few extra lbs...for good measure of course! {Another story, another day}

This Monday, I am beginning YET ANOTHER biggest loser challenge with a group of friends. I am thinking, this time, it could be mine. I could win this thing!! WHY? After five other challenges I have done, HOW could I possibly do it this time....????

Simply put, I hurt. Do you know how many guts it takes to say YUP I have failed in this weight loss journey multiple times, and every time fell OFF the wagon? AND NOW I think I have the cajones to say I am going to WIN? Ya....I feel like I might just burst out in tears at this point.  I don't know if this will even be published, but I really needed to write it.

I discovered THM {Trim Healthy Mama} last Christmas, after a lady in our church used it to lose a lot of weight, and she looks GREAT!! AND she has had a kid or two more than me ;) (lol lol - ok a few) She told me about it, and I loved the idea of it. I used my Christmas money to buy myself the book, and it's amazing. I have used it to lose weight, and most of all, it's changing my mindset about food, and my way of eating.

{Read a little about her inspirational story HERE and ALSO HERE:) } It has made me realize some things in my life that are not as they should be. I like real, I like real stories, and I like real people.

SIDE NOTE: I recently am going through a HUGE life transition, and I have thrown it all away and gained most of my weight back....very long story, for another day.
But THM is helping me.

I hear stories like mine all the time. I couldn't lose it. When I did, I gained it back. I am an emotional eater, when I am sad, I eat. When I am angry, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I work out for a few days in a row, I get so excited, so I "reward" myself with...what else? FOOD. McCains deep and delicious to be specific. So in my mind, I am no different than any of these other people, and I can't ever do this.

BUT, being in a THM community (online) has helped me realize that my story is NOT alone. My story is NOT the only one of it's kind, and that this story CAN be changed!!! IT CAN!!!

So here's me, being open, honest and transparent saying, I'm doing this. I may not win the biggest loser weight wise, but I will sure try. I will also win the battle in my mind. That's the hardest one. With Jesus' help.

Hi, my name is Maria ,and I am addicted to carbs, and find comfort in eating, but this is NOT the end of my story.

My goal? To break the carb addiction, and find comfort in Jesus and His word, instead of food :) And to lose 15 lbs in the next 12 weeks.