The Harder The Struggle...

It's been a #THM day!!

Breakfast was a cup of coffee with my sugar free creamer, and one slice of little big bread, topped with butter and two eggs, with a TBSP of cottage cheese mixed in.

Lunch was buffalo chicken pizza on a half of Joseph's flatbread (flatbread, slightly toasted for crispness, ranch dressing for the sauce, taco chicken tossed in Franks red hot, topped with mozza cheese, and jalapeños baked to perfection under the broiler :) Add a cream soda Zevia to this and it was amazing!

Supper, will be taco soup, although part of me really REALLY wants the buffalo chicken pizza again!

For a snack I had a key lime (sucralose sweetened) Source 0% yogurt with a tsp of granola (maple-licious - it was my treat)

Yesterday, was not so good, but BOY am I thankful for those who lift me up in prayer and in words of encouragement!!

My biggest loser group rocks!!!

For exercise, Ive been running the stairs and walking in the country :)
The fresh air also does wonders for the mind :)

A lot of praying, self control, friends and a whole lot of Jesus :)

MMMMMM POP....

It's a delightful taste...and the bubbles, OH the bubbles!
A lovely friend of mine, Mandy, told me about the PC brand of water flavor enhancer, and that you could add it to sparkling water! SO, I did JUST that, and boy oh boy! YIPPEE found something that is stevia sweetened that I love! So, now I guess I will try the other two flavors as well! Peach Mango was my first choice!

I had that today, with my lunch of Josephs Lavash Bread rolled up with turkey, spinach, cream cheese, mayo and cheese...with a side of PICKLES!!!  I am feeling amazing lately, and I know that it is the way I am eating!! :) I am thankful for that! Is it easy? NOPE! But I can do this, I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me :)

I am so excited for tomorrow, to be able to cheer everyone along with their accomplishments this week!!  Each person has different goals that they want to achieve during this 12 week biggest loser challenge, and mine is not just weight.  I am excited to feel my heart change this week, and how this has EVERYTHING to do with my eating habits.  I am so thankful for the change that I am feeling towards food, and that it is to nourish me, and that I am to turn to GOD for my comfort. Don't think I am perfect, cuz I am FAR FROM IT.  I am turning to Him, sometimes when this craving comes, sometimes AFTER I have thought about it for a few hours ;) See, lots of room for growth here! His grace is sufficient for me :)

Please don't be offended with me, if I bring my own coffee creamer to your house, or turn down your invite to dinner during the next 12 weeks! I promise, it's not cuz I don't like you!! LOL I just want to eat the best I can, to train my body to change it's dependence on sugar and carbs to a dependence to God :)  I love you, and would like nothing more than to sit and eat with you :) Just give me a little buffer zone!

Sincerely,

Maria

White toast and Strawberry Freezer Jam....

DROOL

White....toast....with strawberry JAM???!!!! WHY body, do you think you need this!!
LOL

In all honesty, that has been on my mind for the last two days....I know if I have just a "little bit" that I will NOT stop there. In the past, I have NEVER stopped there...EVER. 

This week has been fairly good for me, pretty easy, but something is causing me to trigger cravings of this sort. I am wondering, how many of you get this? When you want something that you are NOT wanting to cave to!! How do you handle this situation? 

I am learning to turn my craving to the Lord, and asking Him for help. This quote in the pic, I found convicting.  VERY. I realize that I don't think I have ever CRAVED the Lord, the way that I crave the food...in this case, strawberry jam on toast. 

I am thankful for His grace, aren't you? He leads me, He loves me, and He helps me.  




I prayed this prayer yesterday. GOD, please, I want to buy the Made to Crave book by Lysa Terkeurst. I feel that would help me break down your word, when it comes to my food cravings, and replacing them, with you. I'm going to ask Mike about it, and if he says buy it, I will.  

Before I could ask Mike...a very dear close friend of mine, sent me a text asking if I had found the book as of yet. I told her I hadn't, and she replied that she is going to get it for me, as a gift :) She didn't know my prayers....but God did. She didn't know how much I really wanted this book, but God did. God didn't want me to ask Mike...but ask HIM. Then, He impressed on someone else, who loves me, to do this for me! HE is good....and apparently thinks this book WILL help me get a grasp on His word when it comes to craving food :) IM EXCITED!!!

Day six, on a journey of 12 weeks....
Maria

DAY FOUR

Day FOUR of the biggest loser challenge!!

I am so enjoying myself right now, and am feeling great!! I thought I might try journalling this way, and I can look back on these, on my really hard days!

My workouts have been very minimal, but let me give you a rundown on what I did do!!

• Monday, Jillian Michaels, Tanya and I killed it on the 30 day shred. Then, I almost died....ok that MAY be a little dramatic!! :) LOL
• Tuesday, NOTHING...No remember I almost died...ya I TOTALLY did not feel like doing ANYTHING. No joke!
• Wednesday, 10 minutes on the spinny bike!! I almost couldn't make it, and felt like I was going to have to stop, BUT I pushed myself through it!! 
• Thursday, today, I rode on the spinny bike for 17 minutes!! GO MARIA GO! My goal was 10 minutes, but I figured I could do it!!! BOOYA

My eating, I am eating Trim Healthy Mama way!! I have time on my hands right now, to be able to cook and bless my family likewise (they like when I take time to cook ;) LOL and I am not feeling deprived, but today, I really wanted McCains cake...just saying!!!

For supper today I ate the MOST awesome salad!! Chicken breast, cooked then tossed in Frank's Red Hot ( I put that **** on ...not quite everything lol) Spinach/Romaine lettuce, black beans, easy corn, cheese, tomato, avocado, red onion and RANCH dressing! OH MY HEAVENS....it was good. 

I am feeling like YES I could do this.....

I am working through some emotional issues regarding my eating habits, and hopefully I can share them with you, and inspire you as well, one day :) Not today....

I am looking into buying the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. Find the book review here...Have you read it? If so, did you enjoy it!?? I think it will help me a LOT!! I just finished (ok I still have a few pages left) of The Best Yes, and it has been a LIFE CHANGER!! SO let me know if you have, and hopefully I can get my hands on it in the next week here!!

Thanks for reading, and guys, I do appreciate your comments!! You ROCK~!!! 

Day One

Day one...almost done.
Biggest Loser Challenge 2015

I found myself so excited to have people posting their weights today, and although I am at the heaviest I have ever been in my life, I am excited to see people starting this journey with me :)

The transformations that are going to be taking place in other's lives, is exciting!!! Of course, in mine as well.

I do know that in my life, little steps are going to be some of the hardest, and changing my MIND will be so much more important than changing my eating, or working out habits.  I want the changes in my HEART to be effective, so I never have this struggle again!

There are a few stories that I could tell you, and I will start with this one :)

When I was 15, I weighed 185 lbs. At this point, I was a sensitive teenager, who was overweight, and tried certain things to make myself skinny.  I starved myself, and when I thought I would die if I didn't eat something, I ate nachos. This went on for a little while, till I realized it didn't work anyway, so forget it. I faked sickness to get out of gym at school, other teenage girls are mean to chunky overweight super self conscious girls. Then, somehow, I don't remember how, I got a gym pass at the fitness centre in town. I went to step aerobics three times a week, and did weights three times a week. I did not change my eating habits, I had, however, starting smoking. After doing this for I don't remember how long (I think it was almost two years), at one point I ended up weighing 135 lbs. What happened next, was that I changed very much so, in my mind. I lost all that weight, and went from the overweight chunky girl, with a severe case of self consciousness, to a skinny girl who was getting all this attention from boys, and I liked that...a LOT.  That in itself, is another story for another day.

There I stayed for most of my teenage years, all the way through till I got pregnant. I spent the last three months of my pregnancy in the hospital on Demoral and ate almost ONLY toast and jam :) That's what you eat when you eat hospital food forever.

Long story short, I have tried to lose that 50 lbs that I gained with my pregnancy for years. Every which way. At one point I lost a lot of it, but gained it back so quickly I didn't even have time to say "Hey look! I am getting skinny!!" lol

This is day one of my biggest loser challenge, and I am doing good :) My body is running into the problem of not having SUGAR in it, so it's decided to give me a major headache. BUT I am dealing with it.  I know I am no longer that 15 year old (obviously) so it's harder, but I know that my heart and mind are what needs to be changed :) Not just my eating habits, and my exercise routine.

Today, I look forward to seeing the change in my physical body, that reflects the inside changes in my heart, and mind. I look forward to leaning on Jesus for that :) I can't do that by myself.

Annoyed....

Today, I find myself SUPER annoyed.

I decided that I should do some laundry, so the place where we are staying is fabulous, and we sleep upstairs from the main part of the house. Nice and quiet, lovely room, anyway, and the laundry is all the way downstairs in the basement.

So I make my first trek, down the stairs, to the main level, and down the stairs to the basement. Great! Laundry in, Maria ONE - Stairs ZERO tee hee hee....

Anywho, proceed UP the stairs to the main level of the house, and UP the stairs to the bedroom so that I can take the sheets off the bed, and wash those too. BUT WAIT, I get up there, start tidying and realize, oh look....a pile of laundry that needs doing as well. SO, because I am easily distracted, forget about the sheets, and grab the laundry and go DOWN the stairs and DOWN the next set to the basement, and place the laundry in the basket (doing it right away is a great idea...in theory). As I trek back UP the stairs, my knees begin to object. So a little slower, I make my way. UP the basement stairs to the main floor. PAUSE, make coffee, drink coffee, read part of my book....lol then I decide I need to go finish my bedroom. So, UP the stairs I go, even slower than before, because my knees are screaming at me "DON'T DO IT YOU IDIOT!! Don't go up the stairs, don't you know I HATE stairs??????? GAAAAHHHHH"

Anywho, I made it. Getting the sheets off the bed, walk down the stairs (OH look, this is a breeze no?) allll the way to the basement, and then I switch laundry. Then, it begins again. The oh so dreaded, my knees are on fire, walk up the stairs. MUCH slower, MUCH harder, and MUCH more painfully. GOOD GRIEF!! I have had knee problems for the last, oh say for sure 10 years, but come on!!! This is RIDICULOUS. I get to the top, catch my breath, and decide, I will go for a shower. And what do you think this requires???? GOING UP....ahhhh I think you get the picture! Maria ONE - Stairs....FOUR. POOP.

ANNOYED MUCH? I was...whatever gave you that idea! LOL
I started to really ponder this...at one point in my life, I lost some weight, and my knees didn't hurt at all. I ate NO bad carbs, and I felt great!! It took one stupid "accidental" bottle of pop, to ruin me, and I gained it all back, PLUS another few extra lbs...for good measure of course! {Another story, another day}

This Monday, I am beginning YET ANOTHER biggest loser challenge with a group of friends. I am thinking, this time, it could be mine. I could win this thing!! WHY? After five other challenges I have done, HOW could I possibly do it this time....????

Simply put, I hurt. Do you know how many guts it takes to say YUP I have failed in this weight loss journey multiple times, and every time fell OFF the wagon? AND NOW I think I have the cajones to say I am going to WIN? Ya....I feel like I might just burst out in tears at this point.  I don't know if this will even be published, but I really needed to write it.

I discovered THM {Trim Healthy Mama} last Christmas, after a lady in our church used it to lose a lot of weight, and she looks GREAT!! AND she has had a kid or two more than me ;) (lol lol - ok a few) She told me about it, and I loved the idea of it. I used my Christmas money to buy myself the book, and it's amazing. I have used it to lose weight, and most of all, it's changing my mindset about food, and my way of eating.

{Read a little about her inspirational story HERE and ALSO HERE:) } It has made me realize some things in my life that are not as they should be. I like real, I like real stories, and I like real people.

SIDE NOTE: I recently am going through a HUGE life transition, and I have thrown it all away and gained most of my weight back....very long story, for another day.
But THM is helping me.

I hear stories like mine all the time. I couldn't lose it. When I did, I gained it back. I am an emotional eater, when I am sad, I eat. When I am angry, I eat. When I am happy, I eat. When I work out for a few days in a row, I get so excited, so I "reward" myself with...what else? FOOD. McCains deep and delicious to be specific. So in my mind, I am no different than any of these other people, and I can't ever do this.

BUT, being in a THM community (online) has helped me realize that my story is NOT alone. My story is NOT the only one of it's kind, and that this story CAN be changed!!! IT CAN!!!

So here's me, being open, honest and transparent saying, I'm doing this. I may not win the biggest loser weight wise, but I will sure try. I will also win the battle in my mind. That's the hardest one. With Jesus' help.

Hi, my name is Maria ,and I am addicted to carbs, and find comfort in eating, but this is NOT the end of my story.

My goal? To break the carb addiction, and find comfort in Jesus and His word, instead of food :) And to lose 15 lbs in the next 12 weeks.